lame excuses

excuses.  they come so easily to some and in some situations.  some excuses sound really great and some just sound lame.  oh, sorry i have a thing, me and friend are doing something, i already have plans.  sounds like they are simple excuses, but the lack of details make them sound pretty lame, if you are lying and start to give details they usually just start to sound even lamer.  i have had a couple favorites over the years, i think they sound pretty lame, how about you.

first there was the boy who would instant message me alllllllllllllllllll the time, even stay online til the wee hours of the morning.  we worked together and he would basically ignore me at work, like it was his dirty little secret.  well, one night we were instant messaging and i was bored, i wanted to do something, fun.  so i got out my trivial pursuit game and started asking him questions, ok for awhile, then i wanted to take my turn answering.  i told him to ask me questions, he couldnt think of any.  so i say why dont you come over and we can play trivial pursuit.  love this one, hope you do too, his excuse was:  "it wouldnt be fair to the dog, i have been at work all day and he hasnt had a chance to see me".  Really?  really!  i couldnt believe it!  i got on my cell phone and called a close friend and read the conversation and the lame excuse to her, she couldnt believe it either!  but wait there is another one in the race for best lame excuse.................

my other favorite one is from an older friend of mine, by older i mean she has grandkids.  when my mother died she decided to become my friend, i appreciate it, her husband had died almost a year before and i figured she needed the support.  well, finally she got remarried but before that...  we would have breakfast and talk about things.  she was getting more independent and doing a lot of things on her own, like going to her home country to see her family, and i was encouraging her to do new things and stand up for herself with her kids.  she told me she had met a guy and was gone most of the year on trips with him and we would meet up when she was back in town.  i was shocked when they hadnt known each other but about 6 moths and she announces she is engaged.  i was happy for her and attended the wedding.  then she stopped having time for me.  i realize some women just become the person they married, they suddenly have no personality of their own and have to be joined at the hip and cannot have friends outside of the relationship, i am not that kind of person and didnt realize she was.  she kept putting off meeting up for breakfast and my favorite excuse for blowing me off was "married life got in the way".  seriously?  seriously!  what the hell does that mean?  is that some kind of dig?  sorry i am not married but i dont know any other married person that uses that lame ass excuse!

but i think my favorite lame excuses are the ones that i tell myself.  the ones i make up to justify not eating right or not exercising.  this weekend i have extra time, i could be cooking healthy meals and working out but i keep saying, i am just going to enjoy the holiday and then start in earnest on tuesday.  when i was eating the whole container of homemade french onion dip, you know the kind, sour cream and lipton onion soup, i just kept telling myself just a couple more chips and then i will put it away.  wait, now that side is higher than the other, just let me even this out and then i will put it away.  oh, i still have a couple chips in my hand, better have some more.  wait, there isnt much left, might as well finish it off and then lick it clean!  OMG!  what the hell! 

do you know i currently have a gym membership that will end in a little over a month?  i paid in full up front last year.  figured if i paid for it i would use it.  riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.  i did go and did really well for a couple months, always how it goes.  told myself that if i got up early and got it done i wouldnt have any excuses and i would stick with it.  i even went with a friend, to help me keep it up.  she started calling me early to make excuses why she couldnt go and i would go without her and then eventually i wouldnt go when she didnt go, then i decided i needed my sleep more and i just quit going altogether.  now i have a great idea that i will go right after work and i will stick to it this time!  stand by for the lame excuses.